0226 am 'Get This' news

 

Get This:  Walter Reed Army Hospital is getting ‘Imagineered’ by Disney. 

Chris Andreae

02/26/08

 

  1. Ron Wyden can’t decide who’s healthcare plan is healthiest for his own Special Interests, Barack Obama’s or Hillary Clinton’s.  Oh Ron, think!  This is like choosing between the health insurance industry and AIPAC – You can have it all!  (Rosebud…rosebud…)
  2. Poll Dance:  Sho Dozono and the Portland Business Alliance give new meeting to the phrase ‘hoisted on one’s own petard.’
  3. The e-mail reads:  Jeff Merkley brought Democrats and Republicans together to defeat corporate lobbyists and pass legislation limiting prepayment penalties and requiring full disclosure in subprime mortgages.”  Which is fine, as far as it goes.  And that’s about as far as it got in the three week ‘special session.’
  4. The City That Winks:  The NeoCons have done a great job of slapping the face of “Big Guv’mint” up there on the Jumbotron right next to Osama bin Laden and a barrel of oil.  And this means that the likes of Portland’s Sam Adams has to go out of his way to fix the City’s collapsing streets by putting a ‘street fee’ initiative on the November ballot.  (We used to call this practice “taxation”.  But you can’t whisper the word any more without stampeding voters.  So, okay, Sam;  you have correctly interpreted the political IQ of constituents and Done The Right Thing. 
  5. Where’s The Beef?:   Not in Chino, California, that’s for sure…The Hallmark meatpacking company – “for all your tainted beef needs! -  is folding after the biggest recall in…well…the History of Beef, I guess you’d have to call it.
  6. Skeletons in our Closets?:  Storms on the Oregon coast this year have unwittingly revealed some history to us.  Shipwrecks;  Yes, several of those.  ‘Ghost forests’; who knew?  And my personal favorite, “red towers”, those mysterious three foot-high redish-orange lumps that appear when changes in the oceanic climate conspire to remove the beach.  (Or when sunbathers die of cancer and are left in place as a warning to others…)
  7. An Ill Wind:  The Louisiana Supreme Court is hearing a couple of high-caliber cases today.  It’s basically a shoo-out between homeowners and insurance companies.  And the insurance companies say they only cover wind damage.  (Which is odd because in the Gulf States, wind is invariably accompanied by serious rain.)  The Army Corps of Engineers is off the hook, so don’t bother trying to sue them, either…
  8. Water Over the Bridge:  The Exxon-Mobile Corporation would rather just put that little Exxon Valdez “incident” up in Alaska behind itself and “move on.”  Unfortunately, the land and its living creatures are still mired in the muck and are not able to “move on”.  Today the Supreme Court decided who moves on and who gets stuck with the bucket and shovel.  The fact that Exxon continues to rake in billions of petrodollars in profits while loudly braying its “greenness” to world is enough to enrage a clam.
  9. The three New York City cops who shot bridegroom Sean Bell outside a nightclub in Queens are going on trial today. 
  10. Ride the Wild Roach:  Walter Reed Army Hospital has engaged to services of the Disney Imagineers to make the cockroach-infested fetid hellhole more fun to visit.  (More fun to visit than Iraq maybe – but not by much.  (“Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me?  W-A-L-T-E…R-R-E-E-D!  Walter Reed, Walter Reed!… Altogether now!”)
  11. The “troubles” in Iraq just won’t quit and neither will the US military.  Hasn’t anybody noticed that before the invasion there really wasn’t much “sectarian” violence?
  12. Otherwise Occupied:  In occupied Palestine,  The Head of the Negotiations Support Unit at the Palestine Liberation Organization, Dr. Sa’eb Ereikat says that contrary to the glossy brochures, Israel really isn’t interested in talking about Palestine’s ruined economy or the fact that Israel has helped its settled self to all the water underneath Palestinian lands, preventing farmers even from accessing their own ancestral wells…
  13. Yellow Cake, Anyone?:  Now we have a sheaf of amazing “documents” which contradict the earlier IAEA finding that Iran ceased its nuke program back in 2003.  And what do you imagine these miraculous “documents” seem to suggest (Leaving aside the fact that they were dug up in a Midwestern backyard, they are made of gold and you need special glassed to read them…)
  14. No bars in Afghanistan:  The Taliban has been attacking mobile phone towers.  (Just disguise the towers as giant opium poppies:  No one will be the wiser…)
  15. With Friends Like These:  Dmitry Medvedev, hand-picked by Vladimir Putin to win next Sunday’s hand-designed by Putin election, says he’s all for Serbia.
  16. Brazil is going after illegal loggers.  (Actually, that would be imaginary loggers:  Since most of the nation’s forests have already been cut…)
  17. Cull of the Wild:  and in South Africa, the government says it’s time to “cull” the elephants

 

 

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