0219 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Mon, 02/18/2008


Get This:  Castro resigned, Pervez Musharraf’s party is over…and America plans to blast a rogue satellite out of the sky on Thursday…

Chris Andreae



  1. But first, This:  In Washington State, a bill just passed – over most people’s heads, no doubt – that expands the authority of tribal police.  The Usual Quislings lined up to mewl over the possibility that the law circumvents county sheriffs’ authority.  They obviously forgot that County Sheriffs’ offices are so under funded after eight years of Grover Norquist  chipping away at all government services, that who’s got the time?  .  At least someone’s going to be keeping eyes open on The Rez.
  2. Meanwhile, back in Oregon, the House voted unanimously to expand the renewable energy tax credit, complete with tax breaks for companies that make clean energy equipment.  That smell in the air?  It is more likely to be money than coal.  And that’s Okay:  Coal is probably worth more money than, well, money.
  3. The State Department of Land Conservation and Development is just beginning to feel the coming wave of land grab lawsuits.  Developers are fighting each other to be the first on their block to turn farmland into blocks of concrete.  Same old story:  ‘I remember when all this used to be farmland…”  Need proof?  I give you glorious ‘GreaseLand’ to the East – a place so noxious that when the Gresham Chamber of Commerce put up signs so that it would be easier to find it, they realized that the signage just made it easier for people to avoid the city.
  4. A Texas corporation is the New Gun in town.  Oregon has signed another deal with the Devil:  We now have engaged the services of a private company, Study Island (Just a short boat ride away from Fantasy Island…)  that sells on-line test preparation programs.  Did I mention this is a Texas firm, hailing from a state not known for high regard for academic excellence (But they certainly do know how to consume down there Lone Starwise.
  5. Last Sunday, Washington County police shot and killed a man because he didn’t pull over fast enough – that and he rammed a couple of police cruisers….  The man is a former Multnomah County corrections officer who ran for sheriff back in 1990.  The story gets murkier from thereon out.  Suffice it to say that the family is going for the jugular on this one.
  6. The Tortoise and The Mechanical Hare:  “High speed robots” are going to replace animals in tests performed using dangerous chemicals.  I can see why we want to avoid hurting animals.  But why do the robots have to be fast?
  7. Kidz In The Corridor:  Washington State – ahead of Oregon on the Greenometer in so many ways – is going to be working with American and Canadian conservation agencies to protect the massive wildlife corridor  known as the Yellowstone to Yukon Eco-Region stretching from the Yukon Territory (But you knew that..) to Wyoming the Y2Y is the world’s second largest migration corridor.  (And what’s Oregon got to show off?  A planned state-spanning natural gas pipeline from here to California….)
  8. Project Budburst is a climate change game that you can play at home if you aren’t already paralyzed with grief and terror at the dreaded prospect of Our Changing World.  How it works: Students, gardeners and anyone else who gives a damn observe the dates when plants and animals and note changes in patterns that to said vegetable or creature millions of years to evolve. The University Corporation for Atmospheric Research in consortium of seventy universities is behind the effort.  And you can be too!  It starts Friday.  Here’s the website:  www.windows.ucar.edu/citizen_science/budburst 
  9. In Victoria, BC, a tree-sit that has been aloft ever since April of last year was brought down by the RCMP last week.  Activists had continuously occupied a tree in a copse slated for the ax.  Nothing unusual there.  But this sit was in a rather suburban area that is getting logged in order to make way for highway overpass.  (Hey…I thought the whole idea of an “overpass” was to pass over significant entities and activities on the ground.  Presumably there were no house or roads on the ground being overpassed, because if there were the forest would not have been sat in the first place.  Those mad Canadians!
  10. Under New Management:  After 9/11 the CIA set up no less than twelve bogus companies in far-flung parts of the world.  The hope was that these companies would allow Americans to “penetrate” the Islamic world.  Well, it might have allowed the Company to penetrate the Stupid World but it didn’t work with the Islamic one.  Targets instantly identified the bogus businesses as the product of American ingenuity.
  11. Ay Caaaramba!  In Miami, Little Havanites celebrated Castro’s resignation in a colorful, exuberant crime wave.
  12. “Mrs. Kurzweil?  Ray’s wandered off again…”:  Ray Kurzweil says that by 2029 we’ll be so fucking dumb we’ll need tiny robots running around in our heads doing all the tasks that our brains were once capable of accomplishing – even on a slow day.  From one organ to  the next…that Ray is some Thinker1
  13. This is Your Brain on Robots:  This Thursday, the United States is going to take its first shot at an out-of-control rogue spy satellite, the idea being that we’re going to knock the thing into one of the planet’s many fine oceans in order to stop it from hitting, oh…say Las Vegas.  Wait!  The calendar…check that date: February 21st.   That’s the day after writer/journalist Hunter S. Thompson topped himself a couple of years ago….You don’t think that this satellite the government wants so badly to get rid of could be….?
  14. The Party’s Over:  The Middle Eastern Megalomaniac America Loves To Hate lost yesterday’s parliamentary election to opposition parties, including that of assassinated Benazir Bhutto.  The results cast serious doubts on Musharraf’s political future – as least as far as Pakistan is concerned…I hear Cuba’s hiring…
  15. Yes…It’s true, Fidel Castro has resigned He’s still a member of parliament, though, which is rather more than Pervez Musharraf can say for himself.
  16. Ehud Olmert and Mahmoud Abbas have been compelled by US pressure, to meet.  This isn’t about the future of Israel or the fate of the Palestinians.  No.  This a meeting destined to fail in the eyes of all concerned - except for the Bush legacy hindsight goggles.
  17. Israeli settlers have stepped up the massive Palestinian land grab.  Over the past few days, the Israelis have illegally occupied Palestinian homes while “Israel continues to dig tunnels in the Silwan area that are causing damage to streets and buildings.”  How’s that again?  The Israelis are digging tunnels?  But aren’t the Palestinians always the ones accused of doing just that?  So that they can get bombs on board innocent Israeli buses?  Aw c’mon…
  18. And did I mention the American Patriot missiles that the Israel Defense Forces have deployed against a beaten down civilian population?
  19. Condoleeza Rice wants Kenyans to stop all this fighting and share power…But first she’s going to need a new pair of Manolo Blahniks.  Condoleeza: “Why can’t we all just get a pair?”
  20. The Mighty Bush Legacy Rolls on…The Family Bush must have made a hell of an impression on Africa.  Because the US military has decided to keep the headquarters of its new Africa Command – ‘AfricCm’ – in Germany.  Much safer there since most Africans can see The Writing on The Wall.  It says:  ‘Don’t let them in!  They’ll start a war, take your oil, occupy your country and then turn your economy over to a handful of multinational vampires’.
  21.  More violence in Iraq.  It just goes on and on…much like the Occupation itself.
  22. The EU and the US have officially recognized Kosovo.  Mainly to piss off Russia, but that’s another story…
  23. Also Pissed-Off:  China isn’t happy about US superstar film maker Steven Spielberg’s refusal to orchestrate the Beijing Olympics because of Chinese complicacy in the Darfur genocide.  (Lighten up, Steven:  You missed a golden opportunity to show the world Darth Vader in short-shorts passing the torch to Yoda.  (Since Spielberg is out, I have a suggestion:  Troma’s Lloyd  Kaufman.  Lloyd could show up with Toxic Avenger and the Troma girls just in time to save the athletes from keeling over form the pollution…)



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