0214 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Wed, 02/13/2008


Get This:  Travel agents will be only too happy to extraordinarily render Bush out of town…. 

Chris Andreae



  1. 1.   Impeachable You:  Oregon’s Pete DeFazio finally joined the call to investigate – if not impeach –  creepy VP, Dick Cheney.  Following the sterling lead of Florida’s Bob Wexler, Pete  finally joined the intrepid cadre of Democrats who aren’t going to let these rabid swinefucked thieves get away with it.  And you shouldn’t let any of our elected representatives get away with letting them get away with it either.  A hall of mirrors can be destroyed with a…a…a well, for example, a golf club:  “Now watch this drive.”   Sign Wexler’s online petition at www.wexlerwantshearings.com) 
  2. Bernie Giusto is temporarily off the hook…The State’s Police Standards  (Didn’t know the police had “standards”?  Ya learn something new every day – just like Bernie…) Agency let Bernie skate.  But another round of investigations could nick him in the ass on his way out of jail,
  3. Paid, Prayed & Afraid:  Portland is getting two charter schools.  (Hey, a consumer society doesn’t need educated people.  If you can shop, pray and Be Very Afraid, congratulations!  You’re a true American…)
  4. Teachers want some kind of warning system to let them know if they can expect students to suddenly morph into homicidal maniacs.  You’d think parents would provide some sort of heads up:  “Listen, we think Junior hasn’t been taking the little blue and red pills and he’s been acting a little, uh, withdrawn.  His room, you know… a-and we think we smell feces and this chemical odor…What’s that?  No, actually we’re locked in the basement, duct-taped to the furnace right now….”.
  5. Don’t forget to have the kids immunized or else they’ll get kicked out of school, you’ll lose your job and your house will get foreclosed.  So get those shots!  What’s that?  You say your kids are already kicked out of school, you’re unemployed and the bank took the house?  Okay then…Some kind of weird disease would probably be a welcome distraction.
  6. In Tacoma, the slow-motion demolition of Briana Waters life is underway.  Complete with a couple of deluxe, government-issued, weapons-grade snitches.
  7. Punked:  If Kevin Mannix has his way with the bitches in Salem, the mandatory minimum sentencing is going to loosen up just enough to let the white people out of long prison terms, while packing the penitentiaries with four to six thousand new inmates – and we already have 13 thousand.  The State is broke and getting broker by the day…So Hellllooo, Corrections Corporation of America.  The ‘prison industrial complex’  It’s the new ‘timber payments’.
  8. On a Clear Day You Can See A Lawsuit:   Up in Hood River the venue for venting , the public weighing-in platform, the House was packed with people who live up in the Gorge, follow the Don’t-Shit-In-Your-Own-Nest rules.  People are mad as snakes at the prospect of a resort developer coming in and shitting in their nests for them.  They are going to stay mad.  The Columbia River Gorge Commission is holding an “overflow” meeting on March 11th.  Be there with bells on it.
  9. Fly Me To The Moon:  A federal judge in San Francisco dismissed a lawsuit against Boeing subsidiary, Jeppesen.   The company itself did a fairly good job of proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was involved in ‘extraordinary rendition’ flights.  (But that’s the whole problem:  It’s what’s in those shadows that is always of greatest interest.  Even more interesting:  who is casting the shadow.  In this case it would be Michael Mukasey’s Justice Department & Wild West Side show.  “If it’s illegal, then it never happened, so Jeppesen can’t be guilty  …I’m sure you can understand that…
  10. An Act for Toughs to Follow:  Democrats are lining up to claim that they are standing up to president Bush  when it comes to passing an updated version of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.   Unless it grants the telecom perps blanket immunity.  The House agreed to prolong the debate  for three weeks but the bill to extend the truly vile, oozing sore, the Protect America Act, failed.  (This is all bedroom farce complete with bare bottoms and doors banging open and shut:  Bush will simply add a signing statement to whatever comes out the rear end of the debate, allowing him to violate the parts he doesn’t like.)
  11. The Senate voted to ban water torture.  See above.  Bush “signed” before the “statement” had even been drafted.
  12. In Iraq, as the bulldozers roar and the lights burn all night (The only places in Iraq that actually have electricity for more than a couple of hours a day – and that includes hospitals…)  construction ploughs ahead at the embassy and numerous military bases that have erupted all across the occupied nation.  And yet back in the UsofA, the White House insists that  it has no “permanent bases” overseas – Well, Okay, except maybe for Guantanamo...No.  Nope.  No Bases…Not in Germany, Japan, the Philippines, South Korea…(Just ask the 14 year-old girl who was raped by Marines in Okinawa last week…)
  13. The FEMA trailers are killing their stricken, benighted reluctant occupants.
  14. Venezuela and Exxon are breaking up.
  15. Prompting America to appoint itself an ‘Energy Attaché.’  (As Al Capone famously said, “A gun and a smile will get you farther than a smile alone…”)
  16. You Think You’ll Be Glad When Bush Leaves Dept:  The travel industry can’t wait to get back into business.
  17. In Lebanon, today the death of former prime minister, Rafik Hariri,  was marked by thousands of pro-American Lebanese, while at the same time, Hezbollah supporters mourned the assassination of Imad Mughniyeh (Oh c’mon…Let’s call it what it is…).  The mainstream media reported that the whole show – accompanied by a chorus of Lebanese troops done up in full riot drag -  was a recipe for internecine violence.  But Wait!  What’s this?  As the overture begins, bells on churches rang out at the same time as the muezzerins calls floated out over Beirut.  The sound was an achingly beautiful echo of unity.
  18. In Iraq, the Awakening Councils – or Sahwa – (They are mostly Sunni) were set up by the US occupying mi8litary to fight other anti-US groups.  So now we’ve gone and pissed off the Sahwa and they are pitching protests at Baghdad.
  19.   (“Why can’t we all just get along?”)
  20. Ehud Olmert says that Israel is not going to divide Jerusalem….That’s how we know he’s lying…
  21. European Union officials have had it up to the tits with US attempts to re-open the 2007 deal on exchanging personal information on trans-Atlantic passengers.  (Hang in there, travel agents…Your day will come…).  You know,   I can see the Americans’ point of view here:  It is nice to know who a person is before having that individual extraordinarily rendered to some black hole boiling with torture…)
  22. Serbia saw this one coming:  Kosovo is leaving.  (It’s going to stay with its mother at the condo in Phoenix.)
  23. The European Union wants Chad to know that it’s Hands Off – and they really mean it this time…
  24. There was a massive 6.5 earthquake in Greece.  It was centered off-shore, under the water.  (So you can stop fretting about telecom cable sabotage, like I mentioned last week..)




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