0111 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Thu, 01/10/2008


Get This:  Tapped Out:  When the Fed can’t pay its wiretapping phone bill, local carriers cancel the account…I case you wondered why that funny sound on your

Chris Andreae



  1. Ideo-logged Unto Death:  Today’s the deadline for commenting on the BLM’s execrable, vile sack-of-evil shit plan to clear cut the last of Oregon’s old growth forests.  Make of it what you will but this is the start of the Bush administrative crime spree wrapping up eight years of looting.  Expect much for in coming months…
  2. Oregon flunked its ‘tobacco test.’  But if the medical establishment really cared about American’s health, smoking would be well down the list behind concerns about vehicle emissions, strange new globally warmed strains of bacteria and viruses, aircraft emissions, factory effluents – solid, liquid and gas, cola-fired power plants, poisonous food, and failure to provide basic minimum medical needs.  After those are dealt with, then we can talk about smoking.  Until then it is a whole hell of a lot easier to make wheezing noises and wave your arms around when the person standing next to you lights up.  Beats fighting corporate infrastructure any day of the week…
  3. Portland’s seasonal, part-time maintenance workers are getting a health care plan.  This is such a novel idea in America that it is taking a little while to put together because no other city has anything of the kind to serve as a model.
  4. Paved With Sausage:  The City That Works is oiling the gears at the old Sausage Factory in preparation for some serious pothole repair around town.  Just don’t look too closely at what goes in and what comes out…
  5. TriMet is up-armoring against crime on the Westside Max.  Not that people don’t witness assaults of all sorts all the time…It’s just that when they do, the reports don’t reach the public when there is still time to run for your life.  (From another point of view, poverty and lack of education, are contributing factors.  People with nothing to do and nowhere to go end up doing it on the trams and buses…)
  6. More Have Less:  The War on Poverty continues…and so far, poverty is winning.
  7. First The Dog Track, And Now This…Local printed circuit manufacturer, Merix is doing its part to ensure that more people have less to live on, by shitcanning 180 jobs in Wood Village.    The jobs are heading to China and Forest Grove because as the CEO Michael Burger says, employees hadn’t met “performance expectations”.  I presume that Management never disappoints itself when it come down to job performance expectations…
  8. Washington State is taking up the torch for Death with Dignity.
  9. Consumer confidence across the board is dying – and with a marked absence of dignity…
  10. Consumer Arrogance:  The Bank of America bought Countrywide – sort of like a galaxy swallowing a Black Hole.
  11. Digital-Doo:  The fake tape tale continues.  Thanks to lousy production values and the Hollywood writers strike, we are not yet at war with Iran..  The notorious tape of the alleged Iranian speedboat confrontation with massive US warships in the Strait of Hormuz has been discredited by the obvious phoniness of the visuals and the amateur writing on the audio track.  (Suggestion:  Hey spooks!  Next time, hire some TouTube geek to put something together for you.  Or perhaps Adam Gadahn has some spare time and could lend a hand…)
  12. Investigate This:  Even one of the officers involved in the Abu Ghraib says that the pattern of horrific torture and subhuman abuse was not properly investigated.
  13. Former Blackwater mercs were charged with, convicted of and sentenced for gun-running.  (“But wasn’t that part of the job description published in ‘Soldier of Fortune’ magazine?”
  14. If you are over fifty, the government is going to want to see a little more of you on your drivers license than your smiling face.  (This does not mean you should rush over to the office photocopy machine and make a hard copy of your buttocks…)  The real ID program is grinding into gear.  (Here’s a Real Idea:  By the time the thing is fully operational, we may have a fully functional democracy again so there’s be plenty of jobs restoring civil liberties and photocopying buttocks.).
  15. Nearly half the Senate wants to lift restrictions on guns in National Parks.  (Hurrah!  Loggers, ATV enthusiasts and poachers:   I’m cleaning my Remington Express 12 gauge Right Now…)
  16. Can You Hear Me Now, Asshole?:  Local phone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on unsuspecting (Awwww, c’mon…You know you were expecting it.) customers because of the Bureau’s repeated failures to pay phone bills on time.  To the tune of $66 thousand dollars in one notable instance. 
  17. The Welcome Anti-Mat:  The world welcomes the hostages freed by FARC …I guess…Come to think of it, the world would probably welcome it even more if the media stopped portraying Hugo Chavez as a “leftist ideologue.”  Chavez is a populist leader with an enormous following and an enormous personality – a combination certain to piss-off the cowboys…
  18. In Kenya, Raila Odinga’s opposition party has set off mass rallies all over that nation.  The AU’s John Kufuor tried, Kofi Annan is trying, but ethnic cleansing is trying even harder.
  19. Tony Blair has a new million dollar  part time gig as the head of the Trade Bank of Iraq, which is itself an only marginally legal pissbucket created for the express purpose of transferring Iraq’s wealth from Iraq to Western nations who have long since shot their oil-wad…
  20. Japan passed an anti-terror bill.  (Possibly to head-off America should she ever get any ideas about Nagasaki, ever, ever again…
  21. The United Nations says that the implosion of the US economy might well take the rest of the world with it.  Is this for real?  Isn’t it true that sensationally bad news is the only news fit to print.  Well, Yes, when it comes to people and planets.  No, when it comes to the Gotterdammerung tidings of woe from the world of economics.




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