01.04.08 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Thu, 01/03/2008


01/04/08 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. Time travel:  The Guv turned a blind ear to requests for more time to implement tougher state rules for obtaining a drivers license.  (Hey, I’d like more time for everything, but as the saying goes, ‘Tis, late, ‘tis very late…’
  2. See SPOT Stare:  Travelers passing through SeaTac and dozens of other major airports across the country are getting the old Icy Eye from a horde of specially trained Watchers, schooled to detect “mircofacial” expressions indicating one’s intention to fly a plane into a building.  (That must show all over your face, know what I mean?).  So far, more than 70 thousand unsuspecting passengers have been dragged out of line and subjected to “extra screening.”
  3. Blowing In The Wind:  Washington State is joining Oregon, California and a list of other states in suing the EPA because the federal agency won’t allow them to enforce stricter emissions standards.  (This is so that George Bush can claim in his evil legacy of corruption and incompetence, that he did something about Climate Change.  No other reason than that, actually…).  Here’s an idea   Instead of another Billion Dollar Ball-buster election, how about if all fifty states secede?  Then Mike Huckabee can be president of the United States of Israel…
  4. Going South:  The Eugene Water & Electric Board is settling with California.  Back in 2001 there was a feeding frenzy we laughingly refer to as “the West Coast Energy Crisis.”  And Our Neighbor To The South claims that Eugene made too much money on the power it sold.  So when the ball finally drops, Eugene admits no guilt, pays $2 million dollars and avoids further legal fun n’ games.
  5. A federal judge ordered the Navy to stop using sonar because reasonable people understand that it is killing whales.  And I believe that all involved are sincere.  However…the Navy will probably ignore the ruling once it hits international waters, the whales are endangered by everything from the Japanese to bacteria, to warming water, changing currents and lack of food…so all things considered…Moby still gets dicked.
  6. Let Them Eat Pancakes:  Oregon Wheat Foundation members donated enough wheat to make 90 thousand pounds of pancake mix to the Oregon Food Bank in the hopes of inspiring other people to take notice of the empty shelves stretching all the way from to West Coast to Washington DC.
  7. Huckabee and Obama in Ohio.  Huckabee does not believe in evolution and Obama says that that he’ll hit Iran if they keep swimming with nukes, running with scissors and crossing the border into Iran without getting killed.  In short, neither one of these guys has a clue how to run a supertanker of a nation headed straight over the edge of the world…
  8. California’s Representative Jane Harman told the CIA not to destroy the tapes…but it forgot.
  9. Representative John Conyers wants the Justice Department to appoint a Special Counsel to investigate the CIA.  If you think about that report, it is almost unbearably hilarious…
  10. The ACLU released it Top Ten Worst for 2007 – and alas, it went all the way up to “eleven”. Worst?  Congress’s refusal to end the warrantless spy program.  It goes on from there:  Gitmo detainee abuse;  Abuse of the Constitution;  Failure to repeal the Military Commissions Act;  Abuse of America’s Willing Suspension of Disbelief and the wholesale flogging of Deus Fucking-Ex Machina.
  11. The Army is screwing the troops out of the bonus payments it promised them.  (But then why would the troops believe anything spouted by an entity claiming to be saving the World one cadaver at a time…
  12. Thousands of former residents of public housing in New Orleans watched from Tent City as the City prepared to destroy their homes.  Some of these buildings are beautiful old brick structures dating from the 1940’s  which had recently been renovated.  From Public Housing to Private Profit in the stroke of a pen.
  13. A Texas man was DNA-exonerated after 26 years in prison for a rape he did not commit.  The Innocence Project was instrumental in freeing the man but there are literally thousands of others in prison or on death row.  (And to think that he would have spent less time behind bars if he had admitted to a crime he did not commit when his case came up for parole hearings.  That’s justice American-style for ya…)
  14.  Meanwhile, justice Chicago-style finally fell on three police officers who had been raiding drug houses, taking the drugs and selling them back to other drug dealers.  (It’s kind of like the Bush administrations interpretation of The Private sector.)
  15. Let’s Make A Deal:  In Kenya, president-elect Mwai Kibaki says he’s willing to talk if the rioting stops.  And it will stop – when all the rival tribes are dead or barely living in refugee camps across the border in Uganda.  (You know your election is fucked when you have to run for your life…to Uganda in the aftermath.)
  16. Israel is hitting Gaza harder than ever and every major news service reports the resulting massacre as a kindly effort to quell a Native Uprising.  The language employed is straight out of the British Empire.  How is it that people who claw their way up through the ranks of journalism and political reporting,  mamage to become foreign correspondents (Corres-pundits, really…) without any knowledge of or insight into the underlying history of any given situation?   Just for starters:  The IDF is “protecting” the Israeli people.  But the Palestinians are “militants”, “terrorists” “insurgents”…
  17. Five people were killed in a bombing near a Turkish military installation, where, word is, that raids on PKK guerrillas are being brewed.
  18. Sri Lanka has pulled out of the cease-fire agreement with the Tamil Tigers.
  19. Chile’s Interior Minister, Belisario Velasco quit.
  20. Condoleeza Rice and Libya:  Together at last!
  21. Is That Cologne I Smell?:   And finally In Germany an anti-Muslim group has congealed into a toxic pool of ignorant vicious grease.  Yes, even the neo-Nazis are troubled by the ‘Pro Köln’ movement which is trying to stop the building of a new mosque in a city most of us thought of as liberal…by German standards…



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