1-/08/07 Get This
Chris Andreae
1. The Name Game: Martha Odom’s report this Monday morning includes gems such as this: The FBI’s criminal database intended to track “fugitive potential terrorists, missing persons and violent felons” includes the names of Medea Benjamin, co-founder of Code Pink and Colonel Ann Wright. Ann and Medea were on their way to a speaking engagement in Canada when they were stopped at the border and turned away. What’s that? You say you think you might be on the list? Change your past as fast as the Bush administration changes its rationale for attacking Iraq! Pay $200 and take a “criminal rehabilitation” class. Happy trails! And let’s not forget the White Supremacists. They were meeting in the Portland area this weekend and the exact location was kept secret – until the manager of the Elks Club in Sherwood realized that the “rock concert” that he thought he was hosting smelled like leftover Skinhead….Then up in Tacoma, a federal judge decided his civilian court has jurisdiction and issued an emergency stay to stop Ehren Watada’s second court martial. See ya in “criminal rehabilitation”!
2. Lost Weekend: This past weekend, Oregon Democrats got together at Sunriver – destination of last resort – to air their similarities. Steve Novick versus Jeff Merkley? No question Novick would get the job done while Merkley and the rest of the Dems sit around and discuss how to privatize the job…
3. Turkey In The Straw: While they were at Sunriver, Oregon Democrats took a straw poll on the presidential race. Results? Obama first, Edwards in second place and Hillary Clinton trailing in third. Could someone explain the nature of the mysterious ‘Dark Matter’ that seems to being weighing national polls in Hillary’s favor?
4. That Depends: It’s time for Oregonians to help break the gridlock in DC, says Bill Novelli, head of the AARP. Bill must be off his meds: It isn’t “gridlock” that has crippled public life and government in general. It’s the virulent epidemic of privatization that began as a festering sore on ‘K’ and at this point has spread it scabrous reach to the ends of the earth. Oil “exploration” at the North Pole? Move over, Santa. Mineral “exploration” on the moon? Look out, Russia, here we come…(You know, Bill, the AARP has been at the forefront of preserving the hegemony of the pharmaceutical industry. Could it be that so many of your members are the same investors who are more concerned about the bottom line than the people at the back of the healthcare line? Hmmm? Bill, wake up…)
5. The Klamath Tribes are planning a $32 million dollar casino expansion. (Wipe that smirk off your face: It may not be “traditional”, but it beats strafing whales…)
6. Love, American Style: A Sheriff’s deputy shot and killed six people ranging in age from 14 to 20, before fellow law enforcement officers took him out. Apparently the fellow, who in point of fact was also a part time cop on the side, had been disappointed in love – he was only 20 and had a whole lifetime of amorous folly ahead of him. In love, as in war, Americans seem to come unhinged. But let’s be fair: A few of the people he shot were former classmates…
7. The Other Side of the Law: A man who stole a 52 cent doughnut may be looking at 5 to fifteen years in prison. He had “priors,” y’know…
8. The Chicago Marathon had to be cancelled because of ninety-degree heat that killed one runner and sent hundreds to the hospital.
9. “Anyone Else Wanna “Negotiate?”: The United Auto Workers put Chrysler on notice that a strike is pending if contract talks stall. Only problem is, the contracts the UAW negotiators bring back to the workers aren’t much better than what management is offering in the first place. (Free Advice, auto workers: Get a real contractor to “negotiate” on your behalf. A couple guys from Blackwater could take out the entire Chrysler Board of Directors and be back in North Carolina for breakfast. Doughnuts, anyone?)
10. In San Diego County protestors have been gathered at a potential Blackwater USA site near Potrero. (Soon these things will be popping up everywhere, right next to the Wal-Mart…This deal has got “merger” written all over it – in neon: ’Wal-Water’? ‘Black-Mart’?, ‘Black-Wal’?)
11. Try A Little Tenderness: The Bush administration’s Next Big Idea is that we are going to use our sweet, sweet seductive diplomatic wiles to bring Vladimir Putin around to full frontal embrace of a US anti-missile missile Star Wars theme park in Poland. (Think about it: Ten years ago who would have guessed that a ‘Polish Missile Crisis’ would be a real possibility…)
12. Rough Trade: Costa Rica is the latest Central American country to bend over for the US and its big… hard… uncut CAFTA.
13. A report by the Oxford Research Group (www.org.org , I kid you not!) finds that Bush’s “War on Terror” is fueling al-Qaeda and not fooling anyone else. Yes, the “War on Terror” is a fabulous ad campaign for disaster capitalism. Iraq is the test tube from which ‘Absolut Privatization’ will pour out upon the world.
14. US Top Dog in Iraq, no less than David Petraeus wants you to know that we aren’t so much as bogged down in Iraq as bogged down in Iran but haven’t gotten there yet…so, you know, don’t worry. Be patient. Won’t be long now…Because Iran’s ambassador to Baghdad is member of Iran’s elite al-Quds Force which Bush has declared to be a “terrorist organization.” (Contractors take note: The check is in the mail…)
15. In Sudan, the Darfur town where rebels attacked and killed ten peacekeepers (Can’t get more peaceful than dead, as the old saying goes…) a week ago has been completely razed to the ground, destroyed, wiped off the face of the earth. A school and a mosque were left standing and as for the people, they are either dead or fled. (And you thought it was a tragedy that a guy died running a marathon…)
16. Kurdish rebels have killed 13 Turkish soldiers in an area right near the Iranian border. This Turkish/Kurdish thing could slow down the race to attack Iran – but not by much…
17. A Christian activist in Gaza was killed.
18. And Pervez Musharraf won another election.
19. So It Goes…
- KBOO