0925 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Mon, 09/24/2007

09/25/07 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. The Guv dished out pay raises for State managers yesterday…which should help with the subprime mortgages many of them are carrying.
  2. Oregon must be the only state awash in money at the moment:  Even though we keep right on lowering standards, we can’t seem to set the bar low enough for little Suzy and Johnny to lumber over, there is still – still plenty of money out there to equip the Oregon prison system with the flash new model Tasers.  Its for “keeping order”  in maximum security prisons.  (Maybe they ought to use them in the classroom to motivate the kids…Fewer people would wind-up in the prisons…)
  3. Clothesline Saga:  Somewhere in Central Oregon, somewhere around Ben, there are housing developments that have passed their own draconian laws establishing what one can and cannot display on one’s own property.  Awbrey Butte, for example won’t allow homeowners to dry their laundry outside.  Makes a person want to jack the old Pinto up on block, set fire to it,  and leave it on the lawn right out front…Sends a message…
  4. Activists this weekend presented Earl Blumenaur with a huge pile of corn in a protest against the Peru Free Trade Agreement.  The trade agreement would take Peru’s native strains of potato, numbering in the thousands and whittle them down to a scant six.  That’s right six.  This is how the world will starve to death on American stupidity:  When the gene pool is dry, the rats and cockroaches will be asking one another, ‘Whatever did happen to those big, hungry animals?’
  5. Wascally Wabbit Alert:  Elmer Fudd, cool your jets.  Last year, Idaho Power and electric bought the ten thousand-acre Daly Creek Ranch, which was to be a nature reserve.  This, in exchange for a new federal license for the Brownlee, Oxbow and Hells Canyon dams.  The quid pro quo was that hunters were going to be have access to the land.  Or, as the A/P so disingenuously pointed out, There isn’t enough public land for all the hunters to hunt on and the animals tend to sequester themselves on safer private land. 
  6. Cornography:  Iowa is the brownfield capital of the world, it turns out.  The King of Korn is also the king of shit.  With more than 2,100 factory farms, Iowa still hasn’t bothered to get the proper permits or obey federal laws under the Clean Water Act.
  7. Where are America’s east coast liberal Jewish activists when we need them?  There has been a resounding silence from the left while surly redneck jingoistic bigots savaged Iran’s leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  We had a window of opportunity there in which we might have let a glimmer of intelligence – not to say civilized behavior – shine through.  And did we open it?  Nope.  Figuratively speaking, Americans collectively dropped trow and pressed their enormous buttocks to the glass separating us from the Muslim world. 
  8.  Bush addressed the United Nations, an organization for which he has shown nothing but contempt.   Handlers adjusted the president’s priorities so that George would not have to master the pronunciation of the words, ‘Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’, and instead only had to contend with ‘Myanmar,’ which is almost phonetic it’s so easy to say…
  9.  The FCC is “cracking down” on fake news.  From now on, it’s going to be: Use a VNR (Video News Release), pay a fine:  It’s the law.’  Alas, the fine is only $6000 – less than the cost of simply buying the airtime honestly…
  10. General Motors UAW workers walked out yesterday.  They got tired of negotiating with men who would look them in the eye.  It’s hard to explain to the people who created the wealth that you enjoy, why it is that your bad decisions are causing them to lose their jobs,  pensions and benefits…Management wouldn’t listen, I’m guessing, because it was waiting to the penny to drop…
  11. In Jena, Louisiana, authorities have increased patrol protecting the families and friends of the Jena Six.  (Two questions, If Jena was such a diversity-friendly place, as the inbred town fathers assured a gullible press corps, then why the death threats against those connected with the Six?  And secondly,  Are you absolutely certain that these cadres of small southern town,  mostly white cops are really there to “protect” you?)
  12. Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel:   In Iraq, Army snipers hunting “insurgents” are under orders to “bait” their targets with suspicious materials such as detonation cords, and then kill whoever picked up the items. The attorney for a soldier accused of planting evidence on an Iraqi civilian and then killing him, told a stunned courtroom that it was all part of a classified – And how! – military policy.
  13. And Lo and Behold!  Violence is up in Iraq today.  It’s not easy being in the Green Zone…
  14. Syria is not expected to accept its invitation to  Condoleeza Rice’s November peace party.  (Shalom, Condi!  Hope you and Ehud go easy on that turkey…)
  15. In Myanmar, thousand more people, Buddhist monks and all, are pouring through the streets in defiance of the orders of the military junta that they not go out and do anything political.  (Would that Americans had had the sack to do the same when similar orders were issued in the US on September 12th 2001…)
  16. Japan’s Yasuo Fukuda is going to be instated as Prime Minister today.  The reason that Japanese statesman don’t seem to swing any real weight domestically or abroad, is that the Capitalist way of government has been a silent, invisible, smelly done deal for some time now.  and it’s the same reason why Bush isn’t so much a ‘lame duck’ as a ‘cooked goose’….




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