0820 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Sun, 08/19/2007

08/20/07 Get This

Chris Andreae

 

  1. Kicking and Screaming:  Yes, it’s ‘Kicker’ time, or it will be by Thanksgiving.  Oregon’s bizarre ‘Kicker’ windfall is about to drop straight out of the State budget and into the uplifted maw of consumers – who will promptly consume it and produce waste.  The money could be making itself useful  providing health, education, food assistance to thousands of people but instead it will be out running wild at the Grand Mall
  2. Among the many wonders drought brings us are elk.  With their own forage turning crispy, the Elk Are Among Us.
  3. OSU students have cooked up a new high-yield variety of wheat.  (Let’s hope it’s the kind that flourishes without the aid of petroleum and natural gas by-products such as agribusiness’s beloved high-octane fertilizers and pesticides….)
  4. The forest fire threatening Yellowstone has withdrawn to a safe distance. From campers who normally wouldn’t piss on the Park if it was on fire…
  5. Romance Is In The Air:  In Santa Cruz, police broke up a homeless camp protest because the campers were found enjoying conjugal relations in a trash bin.
  6. The Bush Stops Here:   Martha Odom joined us on the air this morning for the Activist Report.  A few highlights:  The Climate Convergence action at Heathrow – and, indeed, all across England – is still going strong.  On the Impeachment front, we had Wyden’s office last Tuesday, DeFazio on Wednesday and Blumenaur on Thursday.  Immigrant rights groups in Seattle threw glitter-filled water balloons at the Minutemen.  DeFazio will be in Roseburg tomorrow where he’ll be hearing from the Impeach Bush crowd again (how many times do we have to tell elected representatives what it is exactly we elected them to do?) And next weekend is the Media Camp. 
  7. Texas is going ahead with the execution of an innocent man.  His crime:  Failure to read the mind of the actual murder at 25 paces.
  8. Elvira Arellano, the immigrant rights activist who has been forced to seek sanctuary in churches in order to stay with her eight year-old son, stepped outside for a breath of fresh air or perhaps a well-earned cigarette and was prompting deported – literally within hours – back to Mexico.  Before she could talk to the media – had the media been listening…
  9. The American Psychological Association got together in San Francisco and voted to allow its members to continue sitting in on torture sessions.  (But wait…We don’t torture people…Isn’t that what our Commander in Chief told us?
  10. Hot dry weather has or perhaps has not, taken a toll on crops.  That means two things:  corn and soybeans.
  11. It’s A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall:  In Minnesota, Texas and Oklahoma, rain continues to make life miserable by, Well, ending it, in some cases.
  12. The Dean’s List:  Hurricane Dean is churning toward Texas and the Yucatan Peninsula.  Presently it is just one notch below the Category 5 caliber storm point, 156 mph.
  13. Good Old Golden Rule Days:  The US is going to train officers of the Palestinian security police.  (Presumably so they will be equal to the Israeli security police who are currently training US security police…).
  14. The Three Amigos:  Bush, Stephen Harper and Felipe Calderon are meeting in Ottawa today to finalize plans for the US to assume complete control of North America.  (I wish I were kidding…)  It’s called the Security  (Satellite spying and electronic eavesdropping) and Prosperity (NAFTA) Partnership (Dictatorship) of North America (The US).
  15. Cheer up, Utah:  In China a mine flooded (Torrential rains, you know) killing 181 coal miners.  Unlike back in the US of A, there were riotous protests at the offices of the mine operator.
  16. Hair of the Dog:  World markets woke up this morning with a terrible head ache, the shakes and a dark cloud of nausea, wondering What happened?  What was I thinking?
  17. In Iraq the governor of Southern Muthanna province was killed.
  18. Israel, the persecuted, is planning a little persecution of its own  (That’s in addition to the genocide it is perpetrating on the Palestinian people…).  Yes, the Persecuted Jewish State is going to send back refugees from the  genocide taking place in Darfur.
  19. In Pakistan, a suicide bomber blew up a military convoy.  Suicide bombings are a recent trend in Pakistan.  (As contrasted with American military strikes killing civilians which has become something of a local tradition…)
  20. In Afghanistan, old-fashioned thugs (As contrasted with disgruntled Islamic  militants…) kidnapped a woman from a pizza restaurants and held her for $1 million dollar ransom.  They didn’t get the money and handed her back any way.  (American women have a global reputation for being lousy kidnap victims;  They complain too much about the bad coffee and the smoking…)
  21. South Africa’s always-entertaining Health Minister, Manto Tshabalalal-Msimang is officially out of business.  No longer will the world be amused by her hilarious proclamations regarding folk remedies for AIDS and the alien invasion theory of HIV transmission.  What finally pushed Thabo Mbeki over the edge was the fact that Tshabalala-Msimang went and got herself a liver transplant despite the fact that she is an unreconstructed alcoholic who refused to take time off from her busy drinking schedule for the operation.  She also robbed patients while they were under anesthesia.

 

 

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