0723 am 'Get This' news

07/23/07 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. Replicant Alert!  Hey drivers, the State of Oregon wants to scan your features.  The DMV is going to use facial recognition software to process your face.  The idea is to prevent the Nefarious from visiting a number of DMVs all on the same day and getting a bunch of bogus licenses.  (For most normal people one visit to the DMV is more than enough for one day….but what do I know?)
  2. On Friday there was a protest at Nike and, No, this time it wasn’t for horrendous mistreatment of people.  This one concerned certain atavistic tendencies on the part of one Michael ‘Mad Dog’ Vicks, Atlanta Falcons quarterback.  Alas, there’s more to Mr. Vicks than ‘hiking’, ‘punting’ and ‘sacking’.  Vicks, you see, has a rather repugnant (No disrespect to pugs) hobby, namely dog fighting.  Nike said it considered cruelty to animals “inhumane.”  (As contrasted to the way they treat their Indonesian employees?)
  3. Bury My Monkey Wrench at Wounded SUV:   A rather smug little piece appeared on the A/P this weekend in which the writer gloatingly proclaimed the end of the radical environmental movement.  The writer smarmily refers to the GreenScare defendants’ whimpering apostasy and winds up inadvertently providing his/her own “Recipe for Disaster”:  Turns out the mistake the activists made was working in groups (The ‘Family’) and telling other people what they had done (Informers).  So there you have it, activists:  Work alone and keep your mouth shut.
  4. Oregon legislators handed out the cash all round the education table – except to some of those who need it the most.  The regional program that provides services to families with autistic, blind and/or deaf children was about the only project on the funding list that got sidelined. 
  5. An item most people don’t think about much has an impact on the region’s  economy:  Weed-free hay.  That’s right, I said weed-free hay.  Farmers are celebrating because a new law means they will be growing and hence selling more of the premium grade hay to riders heading for the hills.  The US Forest Service is going to require riders to bring the stuff along and stop infesting the forests with invasive species.  (Now if you think weed-free hay is good for the economy, imagine what the future would bring if we grew industrial hemp…)
  6. Instead of a sustainable crop of huge value, we are going to keep on growing destination resorts like there’s no tomorrow (And there won’t be – no thanks to the short-sighted among our land use Pashas…).  Now Central Point is planning on tapping the Rogue River to provide water for thousands of condos and golf courses.  The cover story is that part of the property targeted for “development” is a “nature conservancy”  (In the sense that Lake Oswego is a “zoological garden.”)
  7. Wildfires all over the West  - except Texas where downpours of truly Biblical proportions have been raining on everyone’s ark.
  8. The Three Wise Guys:  James Comey   (You remember Mr.  Comey?  The hospital confrontation between then-White House counsel  Alberto Gonzales and the critically ill John Ashcroft over a particular domestic spying program that Comey refused to certify as legal?  Yes, that Comey.  Picture it:  Comey vs. Crony…)  Where was I?…Oh yes.  Comey says that Patrick Fitzgerald would make a spectacular – in the good sense – Attorney General, as contrasted with Gonzales who in his own sordid way makes a “spectacular”  Attorney General.
  9. Sausage Factory:  Twelve billion dollars a month are flowing into Iraq where they are supposed to be “securing the oil supply”, but are in fact destabilizing the whole region.  That money ought, in point of fact, to stay home where it more rightfully should be invested in shoring up America’s failing infrastructure and industrial base.  Which is in such disrepair that oil refineries are falling apart.  In turn causing gas prices to rise.  (Amazing isn’t it that a cooked story like that gets released as cover for the obscene profits the oil companies are making …)
  10. Senator Russ Feingold plans to introduce a resolution censuring president Bush for his conduct of the Iraq war.  (What “conduct”?  What “war”?  what “president”?)
  11. Even the likes of US ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Cocker says that if the US doesn’t grant asylum to the Iraqi aides and translators working the most dangerous job in town, that all of them are going to quit.  (Obviously this violates America’s foreign policy which clearly indicates that by the time the US leaves Iraq all the Iraqis will be dead and there won’t be any granting going on, asylum or anything else…)
  12. The Pentagon isn’t going to be holding a garage sale any time soon – no matter how much it costs a month to run this shooting match.  It is going to shred everything, thus keeping it out of the hands of Iranians as well as military surplus dealers (They have their own lobbying group!)  who sell it back to the Pentagon at a healthy profit….Only in America, people, only in America…
  13. Tonight the Democrats get together to lob softball questions back at the teleprompter and study their opponents’ pores on the Big Screen.  The frontrunners have been overheard (Same old story:  Didn’t realize the mic was still on until it was too late) plotting ways to keep Dennis Kucinich out of the game.   None dare call it an actual ‘debate’, because the real thing would turn off the viewers who wouldn’t be able to follow it and the candidates who  haven’t the attention span to prepare for it. (It’ll be on YouTube …But you knew that…)
  14. The Taliban extended the hostage deadline:  Twenty-three of their guys for the 23 Korean guys they are holding by 10:30 this morning.  Sounds fair enough….
  15. Recep Erdogon won the Turkish election (It’ll be on YouTube…But you knew that)
  16. More car bombs in Baghdad.  (Where the hell are they getting all these cars?)
  17. Blair – much in the manner of Johnny Carson as ‘Carnac the Magnificent’ -  has squared his turban firmly on his head, gripped his scimitar and is off to make his fortune in the peace in the Middle East racket.
  18. It Can’t Happen Here….Can It?   In Russia, a band of frisky fascists attacked a band of environmentalists with metal rods and baseball bats  The action was going on at a uranium enrichment plant.  One of the activists was beaten to death.  (On the bright side, the activists were not arrested on trumped up, politicized, fear-mongering charges of terrorism  and then thrown in prison for punitive lengths of  time, which they may or may not survive…So it’s not all bad…)
  19.  A delegation of human rights groups and trade unionists is on its way to Guatemala to urge the government there to go after the thugs who murdered Pedro Zamora.  He was the general secretary of the Guatemalan Dockers Union - until last January, that is….
  20. Israel says that its history textbooks from now on are going to tell the truth about the ‘Birth of Israel.’
  21. Worst flooding in decades in Britain.  (“Mustn’t grumble”)
  22. Climate change is changing the Tibetan plateau.  And when the Chinese marched in and forever changed a whole way of life, delivering the mortal wound to one of history’s most extraordinary civilizations, what did we as a global community do?  There.  So much for the Tibetan plateau….(As we say in Britain, “Mustn’t grumble”)


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